The Chorus, Episode 1-Christmas Festival

***My chorus friends and I have decided that the "drama" that goes on in our chorus would make a great reality show...like The Hills or some other such real-life drama. :) So, I've written out our first episode based on last week's concert week. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the notorious.***

Monday night in the State Arts Center rehearsal space

Scene 1:

180 singers sitting in metal folding chairs in a semi-circle around podium and piano. The mood is jovial and light.

"The Magician" begins to conduct "O Come All Ye Faithful". The chorus is beginning to look bored. "The Quacker" comes in dressed in a light-up Christmas sweater, a denim skirt, complete with knee high Christmas socks and clogs.

"Sweets": Well, I guess Christmas is more her holiday than Halloween.
"Ariel": Clearly. Giggles.

Magician: Well, back when I was traveling with the Czechs, there was this man named "Opera Mafia" who....

"She-who-sings-lovely" <looks towards "Roquefort-hater" in the alto section and mouths>: Number 32.
Roquefort-hater: <mouths>: No, 56!

Ariel gets out her phone and sends a text to "B'rich hu" that reads, "Storytime with Uncle Bert."

B'rich hu gets text and giggles. Sends text back that says "Zzzzzzz".

Cut to Tuesday night onstage at the State Arts Center about 9:00 PM, 2 hours into the dress rehearsal

Magician: Ok, I need the "Grown Up Christmas List" ladies to stay.

Groan sounds from the ladies of the small chorus.

The rest of the chorus exits stage right and left.

The ladies sit in the middle. 15 minutes pass while the orchestra and soloists rehearse. B'rich hu is beginning to get antsy. Sweets and Ariel compose new Christmas Carols titled "O Hallowed Animal" and "O Come All Ye Faithless". One of the hallowed animals storms off the stage in a huff. B'rich hu, Sweets, and Ariel look at each other with smiles.

15 more minutes pass. Finally, the Magician decides it is time for "Grown Up Christmas List".

Cut to Thursday night (night of the concert) onstage at the State Arts Center, 5:30 PM.

Magician: Ok, I need the GUCL women in the middle. Where is everyone?

Murmuring from the 30 chorus members onstage

15 ladies get up and attempt to move into the middle. A few "older" ladies seem offended as they move to the outside. They continue to shoot glaring looks at some of the taller women who have moved to the middle.

As the chorus and orchestra rehearse, chorus members begin to trickle onto the stage.

"Crazy lady" comes in and makes her way down an already full row. She reaches the place where she sat Tuesday night.

Crazy Lady: This is my spot
"Uber-vibrato": We've moved. The GUCL ladies are now in the middle.

Crazy lady stands in front of the seated ladies who are now in "her spot". She stands and stands, and looks as if she is going to sit on Uber-vibrato. Finally, she moves to the end of the row and sits down in a huff.

Uber-vibrato: I thought she was going to sit on me!
Sweets: So did we!

End of Episode 1. Stay tuned for Episode 2- Messiah Week!