Hypochondria

Hi, my name is Page and I'm a hypochondriac.  No, really.  Something about all of the minor changes occurring in my life (getting married, buying a house, etc...you know minor things) has set off a major case of hypochondria.  Now, I admit, I'm slightly prone to it in normal times, too.  You know, my cheek hurts and I think I have mouth cancer, my spine twinges and I think I have meningitis...those types of things.  But usually, I have a quick flash of hypochondria and it goes away.  But recently, I think my body has been internalizing stress.  And since I don't feel "normal", I'm convinced something is wrong.  And not something minor (like stress, or the flu), but major things.  A few weeks ago, I started seeing floaters in one eye.

**A quick aside: The internet is the worse thing ever created for hypochondriacs.  Some of the descriptions are like "PVCs are usually harmless.  Unless they are due to congenital heart failure.  In which case they could be fatal."  Yeah.  Watch out for those internet health sites.  You will be convinced you are going to die.**

So, I made the mistake of googling them.  "Floaters are generally harmless.  Unless they are due to a retinal tear.  In which case, you should see your eye care professional."  What?  So, of course, I'm convinced my retina is torn.  My eye doc passed away in May, so I had to get an emergency appointment with another one.  He checked me out, all was fine.  He did say, though, that if I saw flashing lights, I should come back.  Lo and behold, while at my wedding dress fitting, I saw flashing lights.  And again the next morning.  So like an obedient little patient, I headed back into the eye doc.  Nothing wrong.  He told me if the flashing lights "increased" I should come back.  What does that mean?

Then, last weekend, I had a headache.  Unlike one I had ever had before.  Only on one side.  As I started to "think" about it, it started to seem like the left side of my face was numb.  And I started to imagine tingling in my left hand.  Can you see where this is headed??  Yep, I thought I was having a stroke.  Ridiculous.  Thankfully, my future brother-in-law is an ER doc, and talked me off the ledge and convinced me it was very unlikely I was having a stroke.  Whew!

Today, I went into slight panic mode again today when I thought I saw more flashing lights.   Maybe I did, but it was a slight flashing light, not like the "all over" ones.  Then, I talked myself off the ledge.

I think I need a vacation...