3 Months Later...

Wow.  Considering I used to blog weekly, I guess blogging is something that has gone by the wayside for me.  But that is ok...this is really just an outlet for me.  A way to get my thoughts out of my head, and on the screen.  And it is fun to read back and remember where I was a year, or two, or nine ago. :)

But I've been doing well!  Life-wise, health-wise, spirit-wise, anxiety-wise...I'm learning what balance looks like for me.  The balance between being in control and giving up control to God, being busy enough...but not too busy.  Taking care of my appearance, my home, and my marriage...but not letting those things become idols.  It's a lot, but I'm learning.  Baby steps are key.

I come up with lots of plans for controlling things...and then scrap them.  I'm learning how to be less critical of myself.  If I want to lie around and snuggle with the cats and watch TV instead of clean the house...that's ok.  Grace instead of the endless pursuit of unattainable perfection.

I've gained 10 pounds since I started taking anti-anixety meds.  It's probably a combination of increased appetite from the meds, the holidays, the fact that I'm drinking wine again (in moderation, of course), and the fact that I feel 1000% better than I did this summer and have my appetite back.  My first instinct was to beat myself up about it.  I lost and gained back the same 10 pounds in a year.  Bad Page.  But you know what?  I'm learning to give myself grace about that, too.  I eat relatively healthily and I exercise 3-5 times a week.  Most of my clothes still fit.  I'm healthy, and my husband is still quite attracted to me.  Aren't those the important things anyway?  I'm going to be slowly cutting back my medication soon with my doctor's guidance (more on that later, perhaps), so we'll see if that makes a difference.  If not, I'll keep plugging away eating healthier and exercising more, and we'll see.  Again, I'm learning.

So that's my update for my 2 readers.  I may be back to write more later...maybe not.  But either way, I'll do my best to avoid beating myself up about not writing!