Facebook thinks it knows me oh-so-well. Some advanced software program obviously finds things in my profile and tailors the ads on the sidebar to my preferences. I'll see ads for bikes and cycling gear, swimming diets, music, singing lessons...but my all-time favorite is the one that says "29 and Alone again?".
This summer, during a moment of silly vacation relaxation, Maureen, our friend Jean and I thought it would be funny to create a Facebook account for Jean's cat, Byzwaden. When we visited them in Maine last year, Byzwaden fell madly in love with me and followed me around the house. So, in a fit of laughter, we posted that Byzwaden and I were in a relationship. I figured that people would see he was a cat...and think it was funny. Well, apparently his kitty face on the profile pic was not big enough, and seeing that I was in a relationship with Byzwaden Nowak...some of my friends thought I had found some crazy Polish/Eastern European guy to be my boyfriend. Everyone kept asking me how to say his name (it's actually a nonsense word made up by Jean's friend). Anyway, when I "broke up" with Byz on Facebook, I started getting these ads on the side saying "29 and Alone again?", and "Was it your fault that he left?". I mean seriously...does Facebook think I tell it everything? What does Facebook know about my dating life? There is no option on Facebook that says "dating"...just Single, In a Relationship, Engaged, or Married. So....I choose Single. But Facebook chooses to portray me as some washed-up 29 (almost 30) year old who does everything wrong when trying to "keep" a man. What if I had broken up with him...and I had done nothing wrong?
Anyway, a few weeks ago my pastor made the statement that Facebook requires us to maintain an image that we present to the world...whatever image it is that we are trying to maintain. I get annoyed by people who post passive-aggressive statements as their status...exactly what are they trying to tell people? I do find that I'm trying to maintain an image on Facebook...and I'd like to try and move on from that. I'll just try to be honest from now on. And not post that I'm in a relationship with a cat. :)
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Importance of Diction in Choral Singing
Even those of you have never sung in a chorus will get a kick out of this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-ZnPE3G_YY
Once you have watched it and tried to make sense of it, then check out the words below:
1. Blessed city, heavenly Salem,
vision dear of peace and love,
who of living stones art builded
in the height of heaven above,
and, with angel hosts encircled,
as a bride dost earthward move;
2. from celestial realms descending,
bridal glory round thee shed,
meet for him whose love espoused thee,
to thy Lord shalt thou be led;
all thy streets and all thy bulwarks
of pure gold are fashioned.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-ZnPE3G_YY
Once you have watched it and tried to make sense of it, then check out the words below:
1. Blessed city, heavenly Salem,
vision dear of peace and love,
who of living stones art builded
in the height of heaven above,
and, with angel hosts encircled,
as a bride dost earthward move;
2. from celestial realms descending,
bridal glory round thee shed,
meet for him whose love espoused thee,
to thy Lord shalt thou be led;
all thy streets and all thy bulwarks
of pure gold are fashioned.
Monday, December 17, 2007
The Chorus, Episode 1-Christmas Festival
***My chorus friends and I have decided that the "drama" that goes on in our chorus would make a great reality show...like The Hills or some other such real-life drama. :) So, I've written out our first episode based on last week's concert week. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the notorious.***
Monday night in the State Arts Center rehearsal space
Scene 1:
180 singers sitting in metal folding chairs in a semi-circle around podium and piano. The mood is jovial and light.
"The Magician" begins to conduct "O Come All Ye Faithful". The chorus is beginning to look bored. "The Quacker" comes in dressed in a light-up Christmas sweater, a denim skirt, complete with knee high Christmas socks and clogs.
"Sweets": Well, I guess Christmas is more her holiday than Halloween.
"Ariel": Clearly. Giggles.
Magician: Well, back when I was traveling with the Czechs, there was this man named "Opera Mafia" who....
"She-who-sings-lovely" <looks towards "Roquefort-hater" in the alto section and mouths>: Number 32.
Roquefort-hater: <mouths>: No, 56!
Ariel gets out her phone and sends a text to "B'rich hu" that reads, "Storytime with Uncle Bert."
B'rich hu gets text and giggles. Sends text back that says "Zzzzzzz".
Cut to Tuesday night onstage at the State Arts Center about 9:00 PM, 2 hours into the dress rehearsal
Magician: Ok, I need the "Grown Up Christmas List" ladies to stay.
Groan sounds from the ladies of the small chorus.
The rest of the chorus exits stage right and left.
The ladies sit in the middle. 15 minutes pass while the orchestra and soloists rehearse. B'rich hu is beginning to get antsy. Sweets and Ariel compose new Christmas Carols titled "O Hallowed Animal" and "O Come All Ye Faithless". One of the hallowed animals storms off the stage in a huff. B'rich hu, Sweets, and Ariel look at each other with smiles.
15 more minutes pass. Finally, the Magician decides it is time for "Grown Up Christmas List".
Cut to Thursday night (night of the concert) onstage at the State Arts Center, 5:30 PM.
Magician: Ok, I need the GUCL women in the middle. Where is everyone?
Murmuring from the 30 chorus members onstage
15 ladies get up and attempt to move into the middle. A few "older" ladies seem offended as they move to the outside. They continue to shoot glaring looks at some of the taller women who have moved to the middle.
As the chorus and orchestra rehearse, chorus members begin to trickle onto the stage.
"Crazy lady" comes in and makes her way down an already full row. She reaches the place where she sat Tuesday night.
Crazy Lady: This is my spot
"Uber-vibrato": We've moved. The GUCL ladies are now in the middle.
Crazy lady stands in front of the seated ladies who are now in "her spot". She stands and stands, and looks as if she is going to sit on Uber-vibrato. Finally, she moves to the end of the row and sits down in a huff.
Uber-vibrato: I thought she was going to sit on me!
Sweets: So did we!
End of Episode 1. Stay tuned for Episode 2- Messiah Week!
Monday night in the State Arts Center rehearsal space
Scene 1:
180 singers sitting in metal folding chairs in a semi-circle around podium and piano. The mood is jovial and light.
"The Magician" begins to conduct "O Come All Ye Faithful". The chorus is beginning to look bored. "The Quacker" comes in dressed in a light-up Christmas sweater, a denim skirt, complete with knee high Christmas socks and clogs.
"Sweets": Well, I guess Christmas is more her holiday than Halloween.
"Ariel": Clearly. Giggles.
Magician: Well, back when I was traveling with the Czechs, there was this man named "Opera Mafia" who....
"She-who-sings-lovely" <looks towards "Roquefort-hater" in the alto section and mouths>: Number 32.
Roquefort-hater: <mouths>: No, 56!
Ariel gets out her phone and sends a text to "B'rich hu" that reads, "Storytime with Uncle Bert."
B'rich hu gets text and giggles. Sends text back that says "Zzzzzzz".
Cut to Tuesday night onstage at the State Arts Center about 9:00 PM, 2 hours into the dress rehearsal
Magician: Ok, I need the "Grown Up Christmas List" ladies to stay.
Groan sounds from the ladies of the small chorus.
The rest of the chorus exits stage right and left.
The ladies sit in the middle. 15 minutes pass while the orchestra and soloists rehearse. B'rich hu is beginning to get antsy. Sweets and Ariel compose new Christmas Carols titled "O Hallowed Animal" and "O Come All Ye Faithless". One of the hallowed animals storms off the stage in a huff. B'rich hu, Sweets, and Ariel look at each other with smiles.
15 more minutes pass. Finally, the Magician decides it is time for "Grown Up Christmas List".
Cut to Thursday night (night of the concert) onstage at the State Arts Center, 5:30 PM.
Magician: Ok, I need the GUCL women in the middle. Where is everyone?
Murmuring from the 30 chorus members onstage
15 ladies get up and attempt to move into the middle. A few "older" ladies seem offended as they move to the outside. They continue to shoot glaring looks at some of the taller women who have moved to the middle.
As the chorus and orchestra rehearse, chorus members begin to trickle onto the stage.
"Crazy lady" comes in and makes her way down an already full row. She reaches the place where she sat Tuesday night.
Crazy Lady: This is my spot
"Uber-vibrato": We've moved. The GUCL ladies are now in the middle.
Crazy lady stands in front of the seated ladies who are now in "her spot". She stands and stands, and looks as if she is going to sit on Uber-vibrato. Finally, she moves to the end of the row and sits down in a huff.
Uber-vibrato
Sweets: So did we!
End of Episode 1. Stay tuned for Episode 2- Messiah Week!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Insanity Among Us
Some days, like today, I don't know what I would do without my crazy singing friends. We all have a bit of a different sense of humor (think plays on words, not slapstick humor), and often get into multiple email exchanges throughout the day.
Today's topics? The seating arrangement for our concert tonight, what we should (or shouldn't) wear for our Holiday Pops Concert in December, and various other funny statements. After about 50 or so emails, a friend came back to her computer after not checking email and summarized the discussions with this:
"Whew!!!!!! It's taken me the last 15 minutes to read all the correspondence! So much happens in the five+ hours I can't be on the computer. Let me see if I've got this straight....
1. I'm an a**, but I'm not sure if I'm a red one or a blue one. (This is getting very political sounding to me. Do I have to be liberal or conservative? Suppose I want to be a libertarian; am I then a yellow a**? I'm so confused! :( ) Page's editorial comment: Another friend was thinking about rearranging the seating for us to sound better...when it got arranged to mix altos in with sopranos it looked like the word a** because "a" designated alto and "s" designated soprano. Red meant chamber chorus, blue meant everyone else. Someone made the comment that it looked like a bunch of a**es...go figure. :)
2. We're going with a uniform designed by the Quacker that has snowflakes on it. Do I get to wear my snowflake crown? (Did anybody notice that the Quacker was actually dressed fairly normal last night? Maybe Halloween is her night to be normal!)
3. I don't know what edited out soprano namesaid to you, , but I was very glad to get away from her in our move...talk about an a**...she's a real pain in one!
4. As for the seating...the move was a good one for me because the sound from behind me improved when we changed. I had never realized before, because we all sit together at rehearsal, how bad the soprano section truly sounds. The grouping of the CC within the full chorus sounds good to me, also. However, it will be whatever is deemed necessary.
5. After a post Halloween day with sugared-up 14 year olds, your emails were a welcome respite."
So, I know most of that doesn't make sense....but wow! It's a great way to get through an otherwise insane day!
Today's topics? The seating arrangement for our concert tonight, what we should (or shouldn't) wear for our Holiday Pops Concert in December, and various other funny statements. After about 50 or so emails, a friend came back to her computer after not checking email and summarized the discussions with this:
"Whew!!!!!! It's taken me the last 15 minutes to read all the correspondence! So much happens in the five+ hours I can't be on the computer. Let me see if I've got this straight....
1. I'm an a**, but I'm not sure if I'm a red one or a blue one. (This is getting very political sounding to me. Do I have to be liberal or conservative? Suppose I want to be a libertarian; am I then a yellow a**? I'm so confused! :( ) Page's editorial comment: Another friend was thinking about rearranging the seating for us to sound better...when it got arranged to mix altos in with sopranos it looked like the word a** because "a" designated alto and "s" designated soprano. Red meant chamber chorus, blue meant everyone else. Someone made the comment that it looked like a bunch of a**es...go figure. :)
2. We're going with a uniform designed by the Quacker that has snowflakes on it. Do I get to wear my snowflake crown? (Did anybody notice that the Quacker was actually dressed fairly normal last night? Maybe Halloween is her night to be normal!)
3. I don't know what edited out soprano name
4. As for the seating...the move was a good one for me because the sound from behind me improved when we changed. I had never realized before, because we all sit together at rehearsal, how bad the soprano section truly sounds. The grouping of the CC within the full chorus sounds good to me, also. However, it will be whatever is deemed necessary.
5. After a post Halloween day with sugared-up 14 year olds, your emails were a welcome respite."
So, I know most of that doesn't make sense....but wow! It's a great way to get through an otherwise insane day!
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