Last week, I was in my Google Calendar account creating a shared calendar for one of my singing groups. There are only about 10 of us, so having 2 or even 1 person absent from rehearsal makes a big difference. We all have busy lives, so a Google Calendar seemed the way to go to be sure we can schedule rehearsals at times that work for everyone. J and I both share our Google calendars with each other...and looking at this week (which is actually a "light" week), made my head spin a bit. We even have a "Quality Time" calendar that we share to make sure that we don't fill up any "free" time that we both have with something that isn't together. We have to get pretty detailed on the Quality Time calendar...for example last Sunday had "Quality Time" blocked off for "Crock Pot Roast and Football". I mean, does anyone else have to schedule their unstructured time? I imagine most couples just have time at home together on the weekends naturally. It's a bit ridiculous...yet it is the life I've chosen.
I thought back to a time not so long ago when I desperately wanted a busier schedule. In my early to mid-twenties, I thought a busy schedule indicated a good, happy, and fulfilled life. I would pull out my paper planner and color code my scheduled activities in my planner (work=red, singing=blue, and so on). Having activities 2 nights a week besides going home, eating a frozen pizza and watching TV seemed like the greatest thing!
I have to be completely honest and say part of me longs for those days. Life seemed simpler...and I was oh-so-organized. Some of that time also coincided with my 2 years living by myself in a one bedroom apartment in Annapolis. I would spend weekends color coding the clothes in my closet. My apartment was always neat as a pin...everything had a place, and everything was virtually always in its place. And if it wasn't...I put it away before I went to bed. My music was organized with color coded and labeled tabs. I filed everything neatly away in my file box. But while I had all kinds of time to organize and "control" my life...I was really lonely. I longed for a companion...ultimately a husband...but mostly a friend...someone to eat dinner with, and cook with, and sit and be quiet with.
I got that companion...not in the form of a husband...but a friend and roommate. And with that, my schedule got busier. Mostly with social engagements, but other commitments, too. I had to give up some control of my environment, and that was okay. Instead of coming home on Friday nights and barely leaving until Monday morning, I was barely home to do more than sleep!
Now that I am married and own a house, the responsibilities are much greater. 3200 square feet with 3 animals and a husband requires much more upkeep than an 800 square foot apartment! Things get cluttered very quickly. Dog hair tumbleweeds roll down the hallways. I do try to do some de-cluttering and organizing, but things are definitely far from neat-as-a-pin.
But...while I miss the feeling of things being ordered and organized...I wouldn't trade my life now for my life then!
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