Thursday, December 3, 2009

Personal Interactionaphobia (or Why I Hate Small Talk!)

I am perhaps an oddity when it comes to receiving personal customer service.  I truly don't like it!  I'd rather do it myself and screw things up than have someone help me personally.  I'm the person that always says, "Just looking" when someone in a store asks if they can help me, even if I am looking for something in particular!  I'll walk up and down the aisles of the grocery store multiple times in order to find an item before I'll ask an employee where it is.  I used to be much worse...I would have nightmares about having to take my car in to get the oil changed!  I still don't like having to interact with car repairs, etc...but it's easier than it used to be.  In college, I made my roommate call to make hair appointments for me.  Truthfully, I hate the phone more than in person interactions.  I still tell my current roommate that I will pick up our take out order if she calls it in!

My mother, on the other hand, always wants personal service.  She'll call the Omaha Steaks line to order steaks and tell them all about why she needs them...her upcoming dinner party, a daughter visiting, etc.  As a teenager, I was always highly embarrassed when my mom would start telling store clerks her life story.  (Sorry Mama!).  Now, I just find it amusing. :)

I wonder if growing up being embarrassed by my Mom's small talk with strangers is why I dislike small talk so much.  I know there is a place for it, but I just don't like it.  I have some really odd fear of people thinking I am stupid, so I never want to ask for help or service in a store.  I was thinking about these strange fears today because I have an appointment to get my hair highlighted and cut.  I had the same stylist for awhile, but she has stopped cutting hair, so I have been bouncing around to different stylists at the salon.  I am literally nervous about going to get my hair done because having to personally interact with the stylist makes me nervous.  I can't quite pinpoint it...but it must have something to do with small talk.  The thing that made me stick with my last stylist for so long was that she immediately made me feel comfortable and didn't really engage in small talk.  We jumped right in and chatted about life.  Now, I have to answer questions about my job, the holidays, etc when I go to a new stylist.  But, silence is definitely more awkward.  It's such a strange thing!

I am trying to get better about the whole personal interaction issue.  When I bought my MacBook, I made a personal shopping appointment with a real, live person.  And I asked them questions!  I've been actually calling places.  And talking to people.

Honestly though, with online shopping and service, self checkouts, etc on the rise...there must be more people out there like me than I realize.  But perhaps it doesn't stress others out quite like it does me!

2 comments:

Amy Ledford DiLiegro said...

You are a trip...and some things never change, huh? :) I remember either me or Rachel making appointments for you in college. Usually Rachel though. I don't like small talk too much either but I don't get quite as nervous/worked up about it as you always have. There's a lot to be said in a store, in life, whatever about just doing something yourself and figuring it out yourself though and not being quick to ask a question! Have a good weekend! Miss you!

pjeever said...

Hmmm. . .practice makes perfect in every field. They aren't going to hurt you. Maybe if you think of it like this - you may be the only pleasant person those folks interact with on any given day. Think of it as a ministry - you can be a blessing to them :) See you soon - probably . .Pje