A non-musical person asked me the other day, "So when will I get to attend a concert somewhere and hear you sing a solo?". I laughed. "Hopefully never," I replied. You see, I hate singing by myself in front of a group in a non-casual setting. I hate auditions. Anything that requires me to sing by myself. I'm self-conscious that way. My non-musical friend was somewhat taken aback. "So you don't aspire to be a "real" singer and sing by yourself? Then why do you sing, especially in a chorus where you get no glory?" Why do I sing?? Ha! Why wouldn't I sing? I love to sing. I love music. I get to perform some of the most amazing music ever created without the nerve factor playing a part.
It never occurred to me that people don't understand the idea of choral singing. It's not about standing out or being a star, but making a beautiful sound with others. Sticking out is usually a bad thing.
I don't aspire to be anything more than a choral singer. Would I love to have the voice of Anna Netrebko and get the glory she does? Of course (and while I'm at it I'll take her face and non-pregnant body, too!). But, I know my limitations...and singing by myself is one of them. Not to say that I don't or wouldn't sound good singing by myself, but the nervous process of getting there is not worth it for me.
Some have suggested voice lessons to get rid of the nerves. That might help, but I still don't want to be a soloist. I think I would still enjoy making music with others rather than singing alone. I'd like to take voice lessons to improve my technique for singing in general, but not to sing on my own. Also, voice lessons require a thick skin (which I don't always have), and patience. Often when one begins lessons, there is an awkward transition where your voice sounds yucko as you are deconstructing bad habits to then build good ones. I'm not sure if I want to go through that...although I know the finished product will hopefully be worth it in the end. Maybe voice lessons should be my project for next summer.
For now, I'll enjoy singing in a chorus and having fun!
1 comment:
This reminds me of when you came with me for my wofford singers audition and actually sang with me because I was too terrified to sing alone!! I reminded me of when your dad hold the back of your bike when you are first tryign to ride and then lets go...thanks for doing that for me! love, Rachel
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